Tuesday, May 06, 2008

inVESTment PORTFOLIO

Exhibit A: Jane in Riverstone

As my amazing Ravelry group gears up for another knitalong, this one featuring any one of my vest patterns, I promised more photos of my recent investments on a different body type: mine.

As you've probably noticed, I ask a beautiful young woman, Hannah Epstein, to model my designs on her young, svelt, form. Not only does this impart a young, hip, vibe (yeah, man, I grew up in the 60's) but it also shows me how young people wear my designs ,which is not only exciting but informative. How did I know that fashion approves of shirts hanging down beneath vests and jackets alike? My mother used to call that sloppy. Like, who knew? And I read the fashion magazines! I'm even a bit addicted to them yet somehow I missed all those trailing shirt tails. Maybe I just chose to avert my eyes.

But what about those of us who are neither that young or that svelt or for whom trailing shirt tails are not only unflattering but put too weighted a meaning to the term 'hip'? Take me, for instance. My body has always been bodacious, abundant, and insistant on bulging where I'd rather it lay flat. Time is not improving matters. My solution? Study the gentle art of camoflage.

Exhibit B with tree

On this cloudy spring day, I have roused my husband as he recovers from two surgeries in as many weeks (one of which was eye surgery), and dragged him outside, camera in hand, to photograph moi. The squinting, one-eyed photographer begs to be forgiven if his wife looks vaguely out of focus. In Exhibit A, I am wearing Riverstone, the long version, happy that it's skimming my mountains and bridging my valleys without heaping too much attention to the terrain. I am not sure why I have my hand on my butt. When Hannah applies her hand to her butt, the effects are totally different. In my case, it looks like I'm trying to shove back the encroaching years.

Exhibit C: Jane in Come Spring with Pin

Due to my build, I have trouble finding things that will fit across the chest without being too big in the shoulders. Often I prefer wearing jackets and vests open so as not to bring attention to any extreme button fatigue that may be going on front and center. Scarf pins in lieu of buttons provides flexibility and can add a jewelry-like effect. Here I'm wearing one of Jackie and my new scarf pins from (coming soon!) line to bring closure to my issues.

Exhibit D: Jane head down

I wish you could have heard the conversation going on between photographer and photographee. It went something like this:

Photographer (while in the midst of a winking spasm): "Put your head down. Why do you have your face turned up like that?"

ME: "Because it's more flattering. More light means less wrinkles, see?"

Photographer: "No. You look unnatural like you have a kink in your neck. Put your head down."

ME: "Like this?"

Photographer: "No, not like that. Try again."

ME: "Like this?"

Photographer sighs mightily and gives up. See Exhibit D.