Friday, October 09, 2009

WHINE

Edie and Jane have lunch in Italy

I can't drink. This in itself might not seem like a terrible affliction until you factor the number of places I've gone to where wine is considered more important than (or at least as important as) food. My friend, Edie, above is a wine connosieur. Wherever wine is poured, she'll sniff the bouquet, talk about the brew having good 'legs' and otherwise appear cultured on the subject. I can't even get the bottle open by myself. Once I have a sip or two, I can tell you whether I like it or not but never in terms of bouquets or appendages.  In fact, one gulp and I've left Dodge. You see, something about alcohol effects me way past the amount prescribed. After one glass, I'm in a daze, usually bordering on sleep. In the photo above, we are together in Florence at lunch. She's had two glasses and still looks aware of her surroundings whereas I've had one glass and may as well be in Pittsburg. Wake me up for dessert, already. I am, however, as you can see, quite happy.

And I've always been like this. I can remember parties attended in my youth where the drink flowed freely and I'd had maybe a beer or a single glass of wine. Twenty minutes later I'd be desperate for a place to snooze. My husband tells the story of the girl he dated (me) who would crawl off to sleep in closets or bathrooms until it was time to go home. Believe me, I brought boring down to a whole new level (only I did get to glimpse a thing or two during my bathtub snoozes that wike me up a bit). On the other hand, when I don't drink, I can still have a tremendous amount of fun. Take the party I went to awhile ago where my friend cautioned me not to drive home. I'd only had sparkling water all night so obviously it was the company I found intoxicating but, to her, I was acting intoxicated. Ha! Like  need alcohol! Had I really been drinking, she might have found me hours later catching the z's with the house pets.

The moral of the story: don't drink and breathe.

Say 'snooze'

In the photo above, I'm finished before I've begun after only glass of Chianti. Check my expression. None would have been enough, right?